I assume people exclusively watch yorn-o on those things.
Is he on DRAFT KINGS or some shit? (If he is, he should throw $1000 on his marriage lasting less than a month.)
She’s like “can I take a turn? I need to video-call a divorce lawyer.”
The bride then explained that she’d tried to keep the wraparound headset away from the wedding photographer.
Oh no.
“He’s like, ‘Hey baby, can we get pictures with the Apple Vision Pro?’” Cambree said. “He probably asked me two or three times. I was like, ‘No, no, no, we have to wait’ And then I turn around one minute and he has it on.”
Jacob had jogged over to his car while Cambree was taking some bridal photographs and threw on the headset while her back was turned.
1000% killin’ the game. (I like to think they’re dancing to Alice in Chains or Green Day there.)
Love is a dream:
Get after it:
Cake looks fire.
Gorgeous.
Tears in my eyes!
I ALWAYS cry at (gas station bathroom) weddings!
Goosebumps…
Yo, that Priest is like “The sanctity of marriage is Holy! Which is why The Bible says that Jesus called upon us ALL to get married at a gas station, inside of its bathroom. The end. That will be $50 + tip + does this gas station sell gas station supplements???”
The garter belt thing.
Always a weird and horny flex.
But. Any groom that ends up with the garter belt in his teeth, at his own gas station bathroom wedding, has the highest respect of an entire nation.
Infact…
POTUS potential?
Could be huge.
And on a serious note, I really hope they danced to Nü Metal. Or Limp Bizkit. Slipknot works for me, too. So would FM radio tuned to classic rock.
Wendy’s wants to make their prices SURGE – like Uber. (Or how your stomach surges when you eat Wendys.)
Their prices would surge at times when burgers are more in demand. So it will take longer, AND cost a million dollars?
Um, sort it.
Close your eyes and imagine being soooooooo effing hungry, AND at the same time, soooooo addicted to food from mofo WENDY’S (specific, much?) – that you’re willing to pay $20 surge prices for a garbage-ass single patty with a mere whiff of cheese under some microplastic pickles. The trashiness of which would make Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas do a 900 in his grave??
Imagine how hungry and dumb you have to be.
You choose SURGE PRICING at Wendys? When you have fifty (50) OTHER fast food spots, on every single block in America, who are NOT doing that.
Burger King just needs to advertise: “We don’t charge more when it’s busy!! (Partly because we are never busy)”
RESPECT to the original, though. Dave and Wendy T:
Something tells me the Kellogg’s CEO eats caviar and bone-in steak for dinner at night. And NOT Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
In fact, NO ONE in history could say “I was struggling for money but, now I own my own mansion, ALL made possible by eating Grape Nuts for dinner every single night of my life.”
In fact, Jack: I already DO eat cereal for dinner. Every night. And I’m still a broke-ass, fat pig!
Cereal gets NO love! None! One of my favorite things is how – in movies – whenever someone’s eating cereal, it is communicating that they are a complete, hopeless, P.O.S. mess-mobile. But when people drink booze, it means they are cool and sexy.
Imagine being such a cheating douchebag, that you try to make it right by … hooking up with the owner of Twitter for brain surgery?
You’re doing it wrong.
Who raised you?
Wolves?
It will be Peak Dystopia in 10 years, if Elon Musk is trying to quantify how many men he’s helped stopped being creeps and CHEATING on their wives (?!?) merely by having him perform brain surgery on them.
He’s going to be surrounded by Tesla Human Frankensteins. Who are super faithful.
You ever wonder how you can eliminate your computer’s mouse through brain surgery invented by a car salesman who wants to live on Mars?
Have you spent time thinking about how you can make your addiction to the internet MORE INTENSE by merely agreeing to a surgical procedure on your brain, invented by an auto mechanic (who wants to live on Mars)?
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CHILLITIA CHILLITIA CHILLITIA CHILLITIA CHILLITIA 